The world lost an incredible mother, wife, daughter, friend, attorney, underprivileged advocate, and community member suddenly and unexpectedly on October 16, 2013. In honor of my late wife, Holli Wallace, I am training for the Hallucination 100 mile trail run and raising money for the Children's Grief Center of the Great Lakes Bay Region.
Monday, April 18, 2016
NO WIMPS Challenge with a half marathon down in Pinkney followed by a marathon on Sunday. I did this is 2013. It's the first of several small goals I use to keep me on track for the big run. I'm marginally prepared although I expect experience at this race and in general will be enough to carry me through to the end, even if my times aren't what they could be. Life has gotten in the way lately and sidetracked my well organized training plan. In the past month or so I've been sick, the boys have been sick, our basement has flooded, we've celebrated holidays and a birthday, we've had a sleepover with a houseful of energetic boys, Elliott and I road tripped to Niagra Falls, and I've been down to Mexico for a few days. I sometimes tell students that you need to have life plans so that you know how to gauge how serious things are when they go wrong. It also gives you some sense of the path that you should return to after recovering from those inevitable moments when life gets in the way.
Elliott and Oliver lead the path that guides me. The problem is that there are thousands of daily decisions and negotiations along that path that rarely have clear solutions or answers. Family, work, and (dare I even suggest?) time for myself are a juggling act with ongoing decisions of what to drop and what not to drop. What kind of parent does it make me that goes for a three and a half hour run on the eve of leaving his kids to work in Mexico? I think that I am doing fine, but questions like this cross my mind all the time. When Elliott was upset that Holli had to work she would explain to him that she enjoyed her work and that, while she would miss him, it was important to her and that she was grateful to have the job and that she was helping people. I remind myself that living a life that is not just for them is the only way to live a life that will be meaningful for them.
Perhaps it is only related in my mind, but yesterday was Elliott's first travel soccer game and today was Oliver's first soccer practice of the season. It seemed to me another step in their independence. I love to watch them play, especially in those moments when they are so clearly thriving in the moment. It doesn't work all the time, but I hope that they know that there are moments when I am away from them and thriving too.